Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
