Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
