I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize