he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
