how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Terrible idea I love it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize