what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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