yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That was before I lit my hair on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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