Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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