i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
