So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
