You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...