I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
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I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.