Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.