Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize