You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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