There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
