You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize