we're blogging at a bar
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
