I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
