You really coming over, don't trick.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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