Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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