I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can I color on your dick again?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
