He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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