turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
