True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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