Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
