Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
