3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize