U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
