I'm jealous of your bromance
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I love you. Go after that dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
