i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
