is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
