Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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