One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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