watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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