I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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