I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My vagina just clenched in fear
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
