so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize