After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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