1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
