I am in a vortex of obligation.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
