I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
