how can u be prego again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
