did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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