I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
