my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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