Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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