I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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