ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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