just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
