well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
