Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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