white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
