fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Maybe he injected his testicle?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
