Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
