So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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