he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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