Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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