I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
