He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
