Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
