hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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