it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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