just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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