Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
